That post won't be a long one. As I have only one thing to say, only one big message to convey.
We all know someone who feels bad, who feels down, who feels not confident at all, who is suffering.
And the fact that the person is not saying it loud and doesn't seem seeking attention doesn't mean she's less suffering than somebody who tells it. And by the way only few people tell it when they're suffering.
However, if I write you this, that's because you've got probably no idea how your words can "heal" a person, or at least how it can make someone feel better, at least for a moment.
This is just an example among so many different situations, but when you are -let's say- sixteen,
when you think you're ugly
when you think you're fat
when you find your skin is horrible
when you think you look awful
when you think the only way to look less disgusting is to wear make up, is to wear cool and expensive clothes when you think everything you do sucks
when you think the real you sucks
when you want to hide the real you behind brands, behind tones of makeup, thinking that people will focus more on what you wear than on what you are, thinking you'd look better if you hide yourself if you change yourself somehow
when you think that the only way to get people to like you is to look like beauty standards
when you realize you're not like these beauty standards and you'd probably never be
when you cry
when you get depressed
when you get angry against society against life
when you think you're shit,
when you get jealous against people who look more like beauty standard than you
when you become mean
when you hurt people when you feel guilty but you continue
when you think you're even more shitty than you thought
when you hurt yourself, when you destroy yourself
when you stay apart not to destroy the others
when you're isolated
when you're alone when you are lonely
when you think you're done
when you think it's over
when you disgust yourself so bad
Then when someone comes and says he loves you for what you really are, your personality, your body, your face with no makeup on....sorry but it's kind of hard to believe it.
However, when someone comes up and says just a compliment like "I find you beautiful today", or just an encouragement like "Hold on" when you failed at something, or just some genuine words like "you're so funny!" or "You're a really nice person", it can litterally change one's day, or even one's world!
The best part is that you don't need to say nothing "deep", you just got to let your heart speak, in few words.
And to the person who would hear it, these words would sound like magic, believe me.
So next time you have something nice and sincere to say that comes in your mind, just say it! Spread it out! Spread the good everywhere out of you! Don't even hesitate. Your words can heal :)
This question girls have already asked themselves an infinite number of times.
"How could a guy like me?"
"How could even someone like me someday?"
Most times this question comes to your mind and then goes, just like a trivial thought... But sometimes this thought hits you, and does not go away, it remains in your head, and the longer it remains the more your self-confidence seems to go away.
People, and especially teenagers seem to be obsessed with the "being loved" thing nowadays (or perhaps it had always been this way, idk I'm not that old).
Young girls want to find their prince, they set up plans for it, sometimes they attempt to be someone they're not to get their "crush" attention.
They spend their time imagining things which could happen, which could have happened, they keep under systematic review their look, their make-up, their weight, their attitude, just because they want to please a boy who -they believe- could be the ONE.
Somehow they sacrifice their own selves for "the race of love".
I took the example of young girls looking for the boy of their dreams, but it may also be the case for boys, or even for adults who want to belong to a group of friends, or of colleagues , and who would sacrifice their own selves to please these persons, to receive their love, somehow.
However I find it really sad because, first of all, people who sarcifice themselves the most to get someone's love are those who lack of love the most, and this is most of the time people who suffer(ed) the most. And thus, these people think that once they get someone's love they would be happy, or at list they will feel better and have a better life, even though this person doesn't like the "inner them" but the "them" they've created to please that person.
Those people may think that recognition and love of another person are their only gate to happiness.
But I'd like to say that in moments of despair or woe, the only -or at least the best- gate to happiness is your own love for yourself and your own recognition for who you are.
Without those two things, your happiness is likely to depend on someone else's love for you, and thus of things you can't control.
If you raise inside your heart the real true Love for the person you really are, then you'll have an iron shield to protect you against many things in life.
Sometimes society wants to make you believe that loving "too much" the person you are is selfish, but there is no "too much", as at my sense there is no limit for loving someone, so there is no limit for loving yourself, as your heart has no limit.
But would it be easy for you to give an amount of love to someone you don't really know?
For me it wouldn't.
So if you can't manage to really love yourself, perhaps it's because you don't really know who you are (I know that could sound weird ok...). Perhaps you find yourself too boring, or not interesting enough, but this is probably because you didn't took the time to get to know yourself.
I mean (and this is something we all do, at a certain age at least) perhaps you had spent so many time and energy to please people by trying to cast into a mould and being someone you're not, that you hadn't got the time to get to know the real you.
Perhaps you hadn't got the time to try new things, to try things which interested you; perhaps you hadn't always followed your heart and your instinct since you were scared it might have dipleased someone. Perhaps you've always wanted to see an art exhibition but the group to which you wanted to belong prefered playing football, so this is what you did too. Perhaps you always wanted to try skateboard but your crush and his friends were keen of chess, so you spent your spare time trying to learn how to play this game, not to look stupid to the person you wanted to love you.
But now it's time to let the real you express itself!
It's time to recognize the person you really are, and thus you'll be able to give her your love, knowing her flaws, her qualities, her personnality.
So my message would be:
If you are at this age when you're preoccupied by what other people would think of you, by boys, by girls, by love, if your "despairly seeking" love, if you're wondering how you should be to make people love you and to get recognition, then I would tell you to stop worrying about all that stuff and stop seeking "True love", and even stop seeking love itself, because this is something that takes too much of your time and your energy, and at the end this is not that rewarding, believe me.
I'd recommend that you'd rather spend that time and energy to find out who you really are. Try new things, go to new places, meet new people, travel if you can, learn as much things you're interested in as you can, somehow get acquainted with yourself!
And if you fail, that's great, because you learn, if you succeed that's great too.
Get to know what you like and what you don't!
And the more you will get to know the person you truly are, the easier it will be for you to love yourself!
And don't worry, someday people who love the person you really are will come to you, and they will give you love and recognition.
And if someday they go away, you will never be alone nor "unloved", as long as your own love for yourself is unswerving.
Take caaare ^^
