I'm NOT talking about Karma or something like that, no, I'm talking about how judging and valuing other people can affect -or should I say "does affect"- your own self-confidence!
In fact this is a great paradox because generally people who are judging someone do it in order to feel better, they think that by judging someone, they self-esteem will inscrease.
But that's is, at my sense, one of the biggest traps ever!
Let's see why and how doing the opposite can help -does help- you feel better and way more confident!
I believe you shouldn't "value" people, like saying someone is better than someone else, someone is worse, someone is ugly, someone is ridiculous, etc.
Because by doing this you're punishing yourself.
Yeah, by doing this you grow a big fear inside you.
A fear of not being good enough, a fear of being ugly, a fear of being ridiculous... a fear of being wrong, a fear of life !
In fact you're afraid because in your mind each person has a different value which depends on their beauty, the way they're dressed, or even the way they act, the money they earn and spend, people they hang out with, the job they do, etc.
And if judge the others on these things, you believe that the others will judge you on these things too!
And thus, according to these standards, you think that someone's value can increase or decrease.
And of course YOU don't want your value to decrease -you fear that!- so you fear not being beautiful enough, not being smart enough, not being rich enough, not having a job good or "prestigious" enough... And thus you become stern with yourself, somehow you become like a severe parent who wants his child to fulfill all these standards of success 'cause it's "for his sake".
You become very demanding with yourself and more and more hard to please.
You really want to have a high value! You're sticked to this idea . You become kind of obsessed with that.
So that finally you prevent yourself from being who you really are as you accept who you are only when you are "victorious" in some way only when you shine more than the others, only when you consider that you have "a lot of value."
So at the end of the day, you end up not acting like yourself anymore, but acting like an artificial being created by your fear of not having enough "value".
Could we call it a slow killing of the real person you are? I think so, yeah.
On the other hand, if you don't "value" people but accept the fact that we have ALL the same value, we're worth all the same (we're all "beautiful in our way, cause God makes nooo mistakes..nananana..nana..."), that we just take different path, and that each person creates and takes her own path, and there are not better or worse path, they are all different but they are all worth, then when you realize that, you will no longer force yourself to act like someone you're not, because you'll become aware of your own magnificence, you'll realize that just like the others, you are an amazing and awesome being.
And then, you'll let the real you live and blossom , and at my sense this is the key to happiness.
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