Everything is said in this inspiring video. That's about what we have, state of mind, life, and confidence. And that's about this amazingly inspiring man, Nick Vujicic, and his story.
Because the most important is not what you've got in your hands , or in the bank, or on the paper... This is what you've got on your mind and in your heart. Your life is as full as your heart. ♥
-Do you love yourself enough to be who you really are? -Are you who you really are? Generally we are tempted to say "YES!"
Or at least, this is what I was always answering when someone asked me. I was convinced that beeing who you are meant wearing clothes you like to wear, doing activities you like to do, and ... claim your uniqueness!
I thought it was so for a long time, perhaps because this way thinking suited me actually, as it's way easier to reflect the image of the girl who loves herself - and so who IS herself- than to be that girl. I used to spend almost all my money on original, outstanding clothes, which almost nobody had of course, 'cause for me that was a way to claim to every one that I am myself, that I am unique, and that I enjoy showing it, 'cause I love the way I am. Yeah, that was more a way to prove to every one, but especially to myself, that I love being me, that I love myself. I also used to spend a big part of my money on make-up, because I wanted to "look good", I wanted people to find me pretty, yeah I wanted to please people, and I thought that putting make-up on my face was just in harmony with the idea of "being myself". Because I knew that I wanted to please the greatest part, so I thought that "wanting to please", "wanting people to find me pretty", were just some of my traits, a part of me, so that I thought that by thinking like this and by attempting to do this I was just myself.
I was actually convinced that I loved myself, butI was actually looking for people's love. I wanted everybody to love me, perhaps because I wasn't confident, and I didn't know how to love myself, so I was looking for a kind of scale which would help me to determine how much people love me, then how I must love myself.
So of course I was really longing for people's love, as for me they had to determine the amount of love that I should attribute to myself. [now that may sound stupid to you, but to me it doesn't, cuz at that time no one had told me about all this!]
I was worried not only to have a perfect appearance, but I also forced myself to be nice and sweet to everyone, to always say yes, etc. Because my aim was to act in the "most perfect" way, I wanted people to say about me "She's the nicest girl I've ever met!", "She's so sweet!", "This girl is adorable!", "She's just perfect, I love her so much!", "Everybody likes her!", "She deserves all the love!"...
I know this is what many young girls think too, and this is why I share this piece of story in this article. Many girls (and probably boys too) consider they first have to be loved by their entourage, by society, and then they could love themselves. Many people still have their self-esteem depending on the love the others give them. But this is a pitfall, as you can't control other people's feelings, and their love towards you.
One day I realized that I was actually spending my days playing a role. That wasn't me anymore, it was like I was putting a mask on my face in the morning, before going to school, and taking it off when I went back home. Every day I attempted to be the nicest person ever, to say compliments I didn't mean and to accept things I was reluctant to. I also attempted to be the funny person, always laughing to jokes I didn't even find funny... I also wanted to be the "cultivated" one, I was always trying to show some knowledge in a conversation, even when I didn't really want it. I just forced myself 'cause I was thinking "That's for my own sake. Thus people will love me, and I'll be a loved and happy person. And I will love myself!"
I guess I didn't find the real me interesting enough to show it. In fact, somehow I feared to do things "cause I feel like it", I feared to do things I really wanted to 'cause I feared negative reactions, I feared losing the love people seemed to have for me. I was afraid to go from "the perfect nice girl" to...anyone.
Now that I think about it, it's like there always was someone who was telling me "Do this, do that, not like that, don't act like it's natural for you to act, your natural is boring, uninteresting, unperfect, act like people want you to act, so they will love you more, so you will finally be someone, interesting and loved!". Honestly, if a real person had told me this in real life, let's say if my best friend had told me that, I would have thought "and this guy is telling he's my best friend?! He's not even my friend! He doesn't even like me, he thinks I'm naturally boring, he thinks I need to prentend to be someone else to be loved! What am I doing with him?!"
But the reality is, that this "guy" was me. I was odious with myself each time I forced myself to play a role. I was underestimating the real me. In fact I was probably seeking people's love cause I wasn't receiving love from my own self. And trust me, when you become aware of it, you start feeling a deep compassion and sympathy for yourself.
So I became aware that I was betraying myself every time I said yes when I meant no. I became aware that this is not by claiming you are yourself that you really are. You don't have people to think you're real and to love you to be who you really are. Because people don't know. Sometimes people even don't care actually. Only you know the truth. Only you know who you really are and if you're acting so. Only your heart knows what the real you wants, and who the real you is. And if you want to be loved, start by giving love to yourself. That means, just start to act as you really want. Say no when you mean no. Don't wear make-up if you don't feel like doing this. Because loving yourself means having trust in yourself, knowing all the magnificence of the real you. So why hiding it? Why pretending to be someone else?
Just be your own best friend, your own lover. Be the person who considers that you are perfect as you are. You are the only person who is always with you physically. So that you're never alone. You could be the one who always supports you, no matter what, if you wanted too. You could be your own "best friend forever" <3.
And the most important: Do you think there is a way to be, to be loved? I don't think so. I believe you deserve to be loved simply because you exist, nothing more and nothing less. You don't have to do some great accomplishment, nor to have the perfect body to be loved. You don't have to wear the most "hype" clothes either, and you don't have to get a perfect make-up, nor a flawless skin... You don't have to be the nicest, the smartest, nor the funniest either. You don't need to force yourself to be loved.
So just be yourself, and act as you feel , ... it really does worth it! Actually people WANT to know the real you ;)
And each time you're in doubt, each time you think about people's reaction, just remember:
"I'm loved unconditionally , for no other reason than simply because I exist :) " Take care
Judging, valuing, this is something most of people do everyday to other people, without regarding for the consequences. I'm NOT talking about Karma or something like that, no, I'm talking about how judging and valuing other people can affect -or should I say "does affect"- your own self-confidence! In fact this is a great paradox because generally people who are judging someone do it in order to feel better, they think that by judging someone, they self-esteem will inscrease. But that's is, at my sense, one of the biggest traps ever! Let's see why and how doing the opposite can help -does help- you feel better and way more confident!
I believe you shouldn't "value" people, like saying someone is better than someone else, someone is worse, someone is ugly, someone is ridiculous, etc. Because by doing this you're punishing yourself. Yeah, by doing this you grow a big fear inside you. A fear of not being good enough, a fear of being ugly, a fear of being ridiculous... a fear of being wrong, a fear of life ! In fact you're afraid because in your mind each person has a different value which depends on their beauty, the way they're dressed, or even the way they act, the money they earn and spend, people they hang out with, the job they do, etc. And if judge the others on these things, you believe that the others will judge you on these things too! And thus, according to these standards, you think that someone's value can increase or decrease. And of course YOU don't want your value to decrease -you fear that!- so you fear not being beautiful enough, not being smart enough, not being rich enough, not having a job good or "prestigious" enough... And thus you become stern with yourself, somehow you become like a severe parent who wants his child to fulfill all these standards of success 'cause it's "for his sake". You become very demanding with yourself and more and more hard to please. You really want to have a high value! You're sticked to this idea . You become kind of obsessed with that. So that finally you prevent yourself from being who you really are as you accept who you are only when you are "victorious" in some way only when you shine more than the others, only when you consider that you have "a lot of value." So at the end of the day, you end up not acting like yourself anymore, but acting like an artificial being created by your fear of not having enough "value". Could we call it a slow killing of the real person you are? I think so, yeah.
On the other hand, if you don't "value" people but accept the fact that we have ALL the same value, we're worth all the same (we're all "beautiful in our way, cause God makes nooo mistakes..nananana..nana..."), that we just take different path, and that each person creates and takes her own path, and there are not better or worse path, they are all different but they are all worth, then when you realize that, you will no longer force yourself to act like someone you're not, because you'll become aware of your own magnificence, you'll realize that just like the others, you are an amazing and awesome being.
And then, you'll let the real you live and blossom , and at my sense this is the key to happiness.
